CDLP: What you're describing now is a transformation, for you, but also a transformation of how to be a good man in general. Have you changed your idea about the definition of ‘good masculinity’?
DL: It's a journey, and you learn things all the time. You know when you're 35 you think you're grown up, and then you realize that when you were 35 you were a kid. When you're 45 you think, oh no, I'm over 40, and then when you're 50, you realize, well, I could have done things differently. I was still kind of naïve.
When you're dealing with people who are, you know, narcissistic, egotistical, and mean—they try to destroy you. They try to pull you into the dark side, to negativity. But I had to struggle within myself to always feel like I'm honest. I am respectful of people and do the right thing. I don't have to go to bed regretting something I'd done, or feeling guilty.
You have to be in touch with your emotions. [Men] have this aggressive part of us that we’re always trying to assert ourselves, to make more money. A real man has to be emotional and in touch with oneself. A good man is reliable. A good man is by your side.
Who would you want in a fox hole next to you when the enemy is about to attack? I want that guy. You don’t want him to run. You want him to help you, you want him to be tough, but caring and understanding. It’s a blend that in my view, all good men should have.